home

Reflective Practitioner Portfolio Denise Manning

Track: Regular CCT, with a Transformative Education concentration
Date: May 27, 2018

Narrative

Spring 2016
602 Creative Thinking
In 2016 I became frustrated with my life and needed tools to break through it. Right before I started classes this semester I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. With him I had become angry, tortured, and motherly. I was emotionally spent. I didn’t know how to be creative anymore.

As I look back I realize that before 602 I had not danced in three years. I had not acted in five years and I had not sang for myself in two years.When I tried to write my boyfriend was not encouraging. I remember the last story I began, he said it was “too dark, too morally relaxed, too much like the me before I met him”. I felt more than criticized, I felt judged. By the end of 602 I felt greater confidence. I wrote a poem about him that still makes me cry and smile at my own progress.

616 Dialogue Processes
In Dialogue Processes I dove right into who I could be professionally. I learned to really listen in conversations with colleagues, students and administrators. Working with my partners Brian and Amy we explored Otto Scharmer’s 4 types of conversations. Towards the end of 616 I still felt that generative dialogue was out of reach.

As I look back at my final paper in 616 I note that generative dialogue is really about co-creating. The Learning Specialist Support Group (LSSG) I facilitated created an environment of trust, developed strategies to assist each other in behavior management and outlined out job description highlighting our worth. It was in the LSSG that I learned not only how to listen but how to respond with a sincere responsibility to respond appropriately. I am still using the skills I learned in 616 in every aspect of my life.

Summer 2016
627 Issues in Anti-racist Multicultural Education
In 627 I came to a greater understanding of my cultural and racial identity and its impact on my desire to support the students I worked with. At the time I worked in an elementary school and shared my observations of Caucasian educators being unaware at the least and demeaning of the cultural experiences of Black and Brown children. I observed Black male students to be punished more severely for the same actions as other students.

Acknowledging the past, present and future my final paper discussed my hope for the next generation of teachers, educated by a more diverse and hands on teacher education program, to incorporate more cultural experiences in the classroom. I believe that as an African American female educational resources have come a long way in low income communities but there is much further to go. In this class I found myself using my personal experiences in greater assistance of student support. I had learned to listen the past semester and in the course I gained greater confidence in my personal ability to meet students where they are, incorporating my personal experiences, to build relationships. This has lead me to a greater understanding of myself and how to approach families.

Fall 2016

601 Critical Thinking
In this course I learned the importance of critical thinking in the classroom in helping students and teachers reflect more on their individual learning. I gained a greater awareness that in critical thinking we must have a strong idea of ourselves. During the course I also became interested in learning more about how ideas in social justice are a direct result of our belief system (who we are). As well as how to ask the “right” questions we must know how to internally question ourselves, how we complete a process and our motives.

I was greatly interested in Costas’ opinion of how teachers are thinking about the emotional welfare of students. Educators compare the approaches of different student’s to problem solving and decision making “by identifying what is known, what needs to be known, what needs to be known, and how to produce that knowledge; or having students think aloud while problem solving”. Educators attempt to follow these steps when talking with students when they've calmed down but this quote does address how we begin to think about approaching problems with students.

618 Collaborative & Organizational Change
In 618 I realized my potential in becoming a teacher leader. As a result of 616 I was considered an informal leader because my peers considered me a resource for student support. By creating and facilitating a support group my peers valued we had formed a new level of relationships.


An environment that once held more distrust now felt more collaborative. To continue the comradery I celebrated high five Fridays to energize my school environment weekly. It would catch on throughout the day. Staff members send the positivity around. It was wonderful to see. Similar to passing a smile. With the intention to continue using my informal leadership potential and skills for the benefit of students and my colleagues.

655 Metacognition
What is metacognition? There were times in this class that spell check told me it was not a word. It comes down to “thinking about thinking”. Taking this course in the same semester as critical thinking had me feeling overly analytical about my processing and where I saw myself going.

Over time I learned that metacognition does not always have a measurable outcome. Like critical thinking the focus is on the processing. I noticed that I put a far amount of pressure on myself to perform an action without fully committing to a process leading towards greater frustration. Once I observed frustration behaviors in myself I had greater awareness of possible student frustration due to a lack of processing.

In my classroom environment I found a great deal of frustration. If a student did not want to think they would raise their hand and expect the answer to be given. Frustration increased when the question was posed back to the student for further processing. I observed the academic frustrations leading to poor anger management. Once outside of the classroom the student certainly does not learn the material. I was interested in breaking the pattern of frustration where to apply most of my resources. As a result of 655 I focused on how I could help students who needed academic and social emotional support to make progress in life. I was still learning how to commit to a process for this action.

Spring 2017

693 Action Research for Change
This was a difficult semester for me emotionally. My ex boyfriend and I had started communicating on and off, professionally I was beginning to feel abused again and I felt less confident in my ability to educate students. The belief in education providing access that had sustained me since my own school years was waning. The LSSG was not meeting regularly due in part to me and significant staff turnover. I could not get my head in the game at times during this course. It’s hard to see change when you yourself feel stuck.

Working through my conflicts I refocused on the importance of creating meaningful relationships. Not everything needs to be done alone to be valuable. I wrote my final paper on the importance of partnerships on student success. This would prove to be a lasting theme in my studies.

HighEd 622 Community Engagement
This is the only course I participated in outside of the CCT program. I always had an interest in a career in the field of higher education. Not necessarily community engagement but I had considered working in the office of diversity. Maybe work as an admissions counselor so I could work with first generation college students like myself. I was not prepared for how the course transformed my thinking.

In this course I was amazed at the connections found between community engagement and student success. I found it difficult to complete research in field that I did not have context. But I was able to find my own connections and create meaning. 622 provided me greater awareness of community and its role of educational access and student success.

Summer 2017

619 Biomedical Ethics
In 619 I had fun exploring my values. I can honestly say that I enjoyed the readings and the discussions. This course also helped me to resolve my values and actions in my life and career.
Based on virtuous ethics came to believe that it is not enough to do the right thing. Virtuous behavior requires more than just meeting an obligation or performing a duty. A virtuous person has a clear motive, their action comes from a good place. As a society our motives always count. As a friend our motives always count.

Through my work I have seen how difficult it can be to earn trust with trauma sensitive students, your motives must be clear and consistent. The values I have in life and in my classroom practices were made clearer during this course. In a society where motive counts the ideological differences of the social structure will be tested but the good of the community will win out. The motives of the community will win out! I must find ways to support students and maintain my values.


Fall 2017

692 Research & Engagement Process
In this course I had one goal in mind defining my career path. My mindset is that of a survivor. With renewed strength I found myself thinking about my future possibilities. In this course I was trying to identify who I wanted to be and the life I wanted to live. I grew anxious at times because my progress seemed stunted. I entered the CCT program to move past feeling stunted. As the program was coming to an end I felt more anxious. I used Super’s theory of Career Development to help reinforce my position.

In my final paper I was able to identify a career trajectory outside of the classroom. I had found that the classroom environment could at times feel traumatic for me. After reflecting on my time in the classroom and the abuse I suffered I wanted to be closer to the root of the problem. The lack of community and family engagement plays a significant role in student success. In my final paper I outlined how and why my personality fit well into the career parameters. This excitement that I had not felt in a while continued in my 694 synthesis course.

Spring 2018

694 Synthesis Theory & Practice Seminar
This course challenged me to explore my life and career beyond CCT. I found that it's important for me to have a position that fosters social justice, so I am interested in the field of community and family engagement. I have found a field that can combine my values, passion and commitment to student success. I have always enjoyed assisting others in my work. Working with students and families gives me purpose. I hope I can effect real change in addressing educational inequalities.

There is nothing like having a former student share with you the impact you've had on their lives, usually years later. How we speak and treat students and families matter. I want to continue to improve these skills and my leadership abilities to implement the synthesis project I worked on during 694. I plan to implement a successful community and family engagement model based on my experiences. I believe there are limitations to be found in implementing and building out this model that I could have further explored in my synthesis but I want to gain more hands on experience. My goal was to figure out my next career step and I believe my goal has been accomplished.

Exhibits

Course name	Link to exhibit wikipage or file
Core Courses
601, Critical Thinking	601Denise-Briefing #3.docxCritical Thinking Manifesto
602, Creative Thinking	602- Reflective Essay #2.docxReflective Essay #2
616, Dialogue Processes (OG)	The Use of Dialogue to Enhance Conversation.docxFinal Paper
618, Collaborative & Org Change	DeniseM-PlanforPractice 618.docx Plan for Practice
Electives
619, Biomedical Ethics	619-Special Project .docx Ethical Theory Development
627, Antiracist Education	627-DMFinal Paper.docx Generational Differences in Education Practices
655, Metacognition	Denise-655lessonplan.docx Metacognitive Lesson Plan for 3rd grade
Required Research & Engagement Courses
692, Processes of Research & Engagement	Self-assessment in relation to 10+10 goals
693, Action Research	Professional Development Workbook
694, Synthesis	Self-assessment in relation to 10+10 goals