SelfAssessClayton

Cynthia Clayton, December 2012

I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."

A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).
I had no only slight hesitation deciding on my final topic, because my purpose was very clear to me. Mission: move the discussion and research to the next level regarding the question of consciousness survival. I decided on a casual tone to extend into a general audience…anyone who has ever considered the question “Who I am” could find this topic compelling.

B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.
There is simply too much going on in every field everyday and too much information to sort through to ‘know it all’. The feeling ‘what might I be missing?’ can really hold up the entire project as one can easily let the anxiety prevent one from just moving forward and one must simply risk repeating what has been said. Generally I feel I do have my finger on the pulse of what is current in the NDE field and most people I speak with about my project also find this to be true. However, if I were among experts in the field I might find I have missed key information.

C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.
My new direction and the clarification came to my project when I decided on the title of the work: Belief is so last Century. This phrase gave a focal point to my work and as a theme acted as the beacon throughout my work. It led me to new research and I found the concept very exciting as I continued to explore it. I spent a good amount of time using arguments and evidence to support the idea and I think I might have been successful..but the reviews from the book will tell.

D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.
I feel like this is the high point of my book as I take pains to outline, compare and contrast the groups involved in the topic. I’m not sure I have hit all the various arguments on both sides but I think I did a good job representing perspectives while being honest about my own.

E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.
I did realize my objective: write a book on the state of NDE research. I would not have been able to complete this however if the topic was not so well known to me from the start. I have many years of interest and so I was able to use the process of writing as a reflective summary of sorts regarding all my past knowledge combined with my current research.

F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.
I was able to go to several lunch workshops at the University of Colorado for help with several aspects of writing the paper…these workshops were not available as part of this course but I felt they should have been.

G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.
Yes, I think this is quite clear. In fact there was fear that I was re-hashing too much in the writing and so the goal became: edit to say it enough to make I made an impact without sounding like a broken record.

H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.
I hope so! I felt like this was achieved but the readers will be the ones in the end to determine. (It’s like asking, “Is your song a hit?” before its release! )

I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.
The class once a week had limited benefit for my project. Like writing a song or a poem, writing a book is a personal piece that requires little input from others. General comments were helpful but details were not disclosed because the support of the ‘big idea’ for instance had no place in the classroom discussion. Outside of class with those who are interested in the topic I was able to make a bit more headway with feedback. This helped inform to a degree, but again I was trying not to have everyone’s opinion influence my direction and vision. I was very anxious to get my voice and opinion on paper.

J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.
My future work relies on my health and my health relies on my lack of stress. Software issues and computer problems were my main source stress and distraction from the work for both this project and the entire program in general. Second to that is finding a way to organize the massive amounts of information that comes to us each day. I would recommend that there be a course in information management at the start of this program.


II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS

1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.
I made an effort to weave my course work directly into my synthesis but felt I lacked time to do so even more as ‘more’ would have required more than the 200 pages I wrote. I see this book however as combining years of my background and life experience into one work and for this reason I felt I could die tomorrow and be happy!

2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.
Not so much…except for my struggles with technology, which haunted me! However if I understand this question I’m not sure what the point of this would be?

3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.
Yes…but this is where I could use a course. Time wasn’t an issue but the rest was a huge challenge…and I’m sure that my work suffered because of it. The citation program that I learned briefly about at first was a ‘dream’ but became a nightmare as I continued to build on my paper.

4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.
Yes! However, it wasn’t the time to experiment during this final project. Generally however through the program it was a good time to push the boundaries and use new tools of the 21st century…like Skype. Blackboard, Wiser, Zotero, Power Point, KeyNote…

5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.
No problem here except when I became stressed and then sick…the primary blockers to progress! Not much to do but to try to treat the problem with more diet and exercise and Lyme treatments.

6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.
Communication by Skype into a classroom is not ideal to say the least. The on-line courses however, where everyone is remote and post in discussion forums was amazing and actually much better than classroom work as the level of sharing and peer learning was increased 10 fold! Relationships were formed for the class duration but like all relationship which rely on proximity, faded on the completion of the course. I tried to accept and give advice but found that in both cases it was very difficult for people working on different topics to really get what they needed on either side of the equation.

7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.
No problem on this account. As a mature student these type of ‘issues’ were worked out many years ago!

8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).
There is a tension between taking advice and rejecting it. It is ALWAYS welcome but in the end an executive decision has to be made as only your name will remain on the work and so you must be willing to support, believe and stand behind everything that you present in your work.

9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.
I am a creative…we don’t follow rules! But of course to some degree we must! My interest is not in a grade as much as it is reaching my highest potential. There are plenty of times this means you must go against what is asked of you when you follow your heart and/or your gut.

10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.
Yes, I have had no problem expressing to any of my professors any concerns, issues... although I know that my push back has not always been welcome. Students tend to candy coat to please and complain bitterly behind the backs of professors. I see nothing to gain in this approach. I was very open and direct in my opinions and frustrations and also tried to balance this be being clear about what was working well!