Scott Goddess

May, 2010

I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."

A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).

a) My goal is to speak to the ADDer, about to enter adolescence, as they navigate the trials and tribulations of the turbulent teenage years. Because much of what happens to a teenager during this stage involves a parent or legal guardian, I also hope to speak to those who bear the responsibility to preserve the well-being of those who rely on their unconditional encouragement, guidance, and support (easier said then done… I know) during the highly charged, emotionally loaded, phase of teenaged, extreme of highs and lows. b) My struggles are a matter of precision and consistency so as not to add to the confusion in the midst of an already chaotic stage of development.

B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.

a) I recognize there are many who are presently committed and actively involved in developing ways to better explain the ADD experience and how to effectively manage it. I have a good sense of the progress that is being made in the field of ADD, specifically, with regard to adolescents. The best way for me to differentiate myself from others is through empathy. In many respects, the recantation of a particular experience may draw my attention to memories of similar experiences. However, just because I recognize the similarity of a certain nature, it does not mean that the associational aspect of an individual’s experience is an accurate tool to draw from in practice or in general conversation. For example, the emotional imprint left by one teacher’s cynical comment may produce anger for one and apathy for another. The characteristics of the narrative may be similar but the manner by which one elects to process their intrinsic meaning for storage in the subconscious will be different for each. When future scenarios arise, one’s trigger may be ignited, one through anger and another apathy.
Respecting every individual’s ADD experience as their own will help me access the knowledge I’ve developed through this process so it can be applied in such a way that it is complementary to an already sensitive subject which is validating to many who far too often feel they are not validated.
b) I may have my own views that have formed through my interpretation of my experiences. To ignore the value of interpreting one’s own experiences would be to deny somebody else the opportunity to discern what works well and what doesn’t.

C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.

a) I took some time but I think I’ve been able to gain clarity and a sense of enthusiasm in my search for legitimate ways to incorporate my experience and my perspective.
As much as coaching the individual is important to me, personal experience reminds me, I would lose interest if I were to neglect the entrepreneurial essence of my creative spirit that does in every way serve as the energy source that fuels my passion. Moreover, experience tells me, just as the evidence urges ADDers in general, that, the most effective way to experience and sustain success is through passion. The slightest absence of passion, of any degree, makes for a far more difficult journey then it would if complete and total commitment and conviction were engaged from beginning to end. Without passion, it’s equivalent to attempting a cross-country road trip after suffering a flat-tire within the first 50 miles and attempting the remainder of the journey expecting the “doughnut/dummy-tire” to serve as its worthy replacement.
b) The direction that I feel is most important for me is in the area of forging communities of support through peer interaction. Even more, I feel a sense of responsibility to bring my work to individual’s who may have less financial and environmental means to be able to afford or know how to access the kind of programming that offers services that support the overall health and well-being of adolescents with ADHD (or, exhibit manifestations of ADHD).

D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.

a & b) Most definitely, an area that needs to be developed further as it’s important that I investigate the experiences of those who are actively involved in fostering communities of support for the ADD learners. What were the successes? What allowed them to be successful? How did they garner interest? How did they engage participation? What were the challenges? What would they have done differently?
Because the profession of ADD coaching is not yet recognized as a viable way to treat ADD, despite the fact that coaching has been cited by experts in the field of ADD as a type of psycho-social way to treat a DSM-V classified mental health disorder. ADD coaches are not covered by health insurance. As a result ADD coaches, who themselves are coaching to earn a living while working to stay current with the professional and ethical requirements of being a respectable, practicing, ADD Coach, have no choice but to charge anywhere between $60 and $100 per hour.
Given this reality, there are some who can afford the fees for the support they need, but others who have greater financial constraints and are subsequently denied support that could mean the difference between achievement and disengagement. Bringing my knowledge and expertise to places, such as, community centers, teen programs, and drop-in teen centers, where I can offer affordable services to those who for one reason or another are denied support, is the essence of my direction.
As obvious as it is, I should include schools as a place for me to consider providing such support. My concern, however, is with the internal climate that exists within the schools at all levels, i.e., peer pressure, faculty skepticism, and administrative intolerance. Until such a day that services for the ADD student are openly and publicly welcomed, I contend that it is in the best interest of my niche and the overall health of my practice to work independently of most schools in support, ironically, of education.

E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.

b) If I had met my objectives, I’d have completed this leg of the journey long ago. I recognize my journey is unique to me and although I may have lost my way countless times, I think the ultimate objective for me is to see that my thinking has evolved, how it evolved, and where it evolved. I am able to take solace in the knowledge, that, I was able to maneuver through multiple obstacles of great significance and still have my family intact and ever stronger. I would have loved to be able to neatly check off one “check-list” box at a time. However, considering this is more than anything else about “the process,” something had to be realized, by me, about me, for me in order to gain the clarity necessary to see the nature of what I claim to be proposing. And, as much as it was a struggle to extrapolate where and how to integrate personal experience, I now recognize that I was neglecting the validity of one key element to coaching. Coaching is about the client! It’s not about me. My experience is my experience and as much as it gives me perspective and insight, it does not allow me to disregard the reality of my client’s experience, just because they differ from mine.

F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.

a & b) And then some! In many ways, I allowed myself to get too bogged down in my search for information and incessant need to find a revolutionary way to interpret my experiences and to be able to draw from those insights to educate and inform interested parties based on my perception of the models. Consequently, as much as that process became about me, I realized it didn’t require me to become something other than me. It’s about me because I am passionate and deeply invested. However, what I pay attention to in my inquiry and continued work will hit the notes it hits because, ultimately, it’s not about me as much as it’s about influencing but not imposing. It’s about educating and not enforcing. My ability to promote positive change rests in my willingness to constantly increase, enhance, and expand my framework of knowledge about the subject as much as I can while harnessing the ability to transfer that knowledge in such a way that it fits the reality of those who desire “change.”

G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.

a & b) I have a much better sense of how I would like to apply my research in practice and I am confident in my understanding of the research and its relevance to my concerns. Because much of my hypothesis depends upon the testimonies of the people I hope to work with, I believe it's important for me to continue to listen to the stories of as many clients as I possibly can.
Then, when I feel that I have met with enough people that it is sufficient for me to identify the parallels and/or differences between their stories, I will know by their developing ability to navigate their ADD, whether or not I am appropriately and effectively applying the insight I gained through my research. It's ultimately about the real-life empirical evidence and my interpretation of it that will inform me of how I should proceed.

H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.

a) I do believe my ability to grab the attention of my reader is one of my greatest attributes. My trouble recognizing this strength rests with my inability to detach myself from my writing enough to see that it can be powerful and moving and not redundant and insignificant as overexposure and self-critiquing tends to do.

I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.

a) Teach Next Year; ADD Coach Academy; ADD Coaches Organization; local Metro-West CHADD Chapter; CHADD; Newton Community Service Center (NCSC), NCSC Teen Program (Chestnut St and Cherry St Teen Centers), NCSC Mentor Connection; Newton Public Schools (Newton North and Newton South). Also, various social networking circles i.e., Facebook, LinkedIn, and the CCT community network are all examples of avenues I have developed and will work to develop stronger more substantive relationships going forward.
b) Areas where I would like to continue to work to develop a greater professional presence and make inroads would be in the following: area of professional networking, professional marketing, name recognition, brand recognition, professional image, expertise, and a specialization working with adolescents. Demonstrable evidence of success, success rates, and instruments to measure instances of success while working within my specific niche would be areas that I need to develop further.

J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.

a) What's been working well?
I have established a foundation of knowledge as it pertains to ADD and the developing field of ADD Coaching. By understanding all that is entailed in a person’s thinking disposition, I am able to observe how the presence of ADD affects a person’s thinking. This in turn allows me to formulate powerful questions that when delivered in an appropriate and timely manner, evoke momentum generating thought. This combined with my understanding of the factors that contribute to “good-thinking” enables me to incorporate practices that are influenced by CCT as well as my development in the coaching arena.
I've been able to align myself with credible and reputable organizations regarded as leaders in the field of ADD coaching, education, and the ADD Community in general:
ADDCA - ADD Coach Academy - training and support and resources
ACO - ADD coaching organization - professional support, training, development, and informational resources for the ADD coaching community.
CHADD - Children and Adults with Attention - Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - National and local CHADD chapters offer support to the ADD Community, individuals and professionals alike. CHADD sponsors annual conferences to the ADD Community where leaders and experts in fields connected to ADD research speak and facilitate breakout seminars. CHADD maintains a dynamic website that stays current with developments related to ADD ranging from holistic diets to public policy.
CHADD fosters communities of support through their sponsorship of local CHADD chapters where members can meet and connect on a regular and consistent manner. CHADD offers training programs for parents and teachers of ADDers. CHADD also supports a weekly publication title ADDitude Magazine in addition to a National Resource Center that archives articles relative to ADD research.
Developing my target audience/niche and gaining clarity and conviction in knowing that my passion is linked to the overall health and well being of adolescents with ADD. My offerings are in the following areas: one-on-one coaching, advocacy, educational/academic support, mental, physical, and spiritual health, family support (educational, advocacy, environmental, coaching),
Also, with respect to personal education, I have recognized the value inherent in the way language is used and understood. Primarily, as it relates to the subtle differences that exist at the younger, more, concrete stages of development and the nuanced way older, more mature, adolescents use and interpret language. Many of the areas above intrigue me in many ways, but, I think the area of language development resonates with me in such a way that it's fun to dabble in much like a hobby.
b) What needs changing?
Narrowing my focus to effectively communicate my mission, my objective, and my philosophy to those who are interested but not as knowledgeable with regard to subject matter and may not have the luxury of time to decipher technical jargon. Community-building, social entrepreneurial angle, need to develop a criteria that helps me to evaluate and endorse programs and resources that I believe to be conducive and committed to the well-being of the adolescent with ADD - the whole of the person - mind - body - soul. How will I go about developing socially conscious programming, i.e., nonprofit support with a specific orientation to the wellbeing of the adolescent ADDer and his/her family? I also need to develop ways to stress the importance of support and educate people to the value inherent in the myriad forms of support.

II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS

1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.

a) There is no question that CCT has helped me to construct the reference point from which to draw from in my quest to find ways for social and educational organizations to use their resources, influence and intellectual assets, to provide positive and productive opportunities for teens with ADD.
b) I feel I need incorporate more influences of CCT to formulate way to attract and include teen I consider to be “fence-sitters.” Teens caught in the middle slightly out of view and have very little if any sense of belonging. They may or may not be diagnosed with ADD but in many ways they experience similar challenges.

2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.

a & b) Perhaps a bit too much. Perhaps a bit too obsessive in my inability to detach from courses and experience in the past. I am fortunate to have acquired unlimited amounts of invaluable material, resources, and connections and incites. Yet, far too often I get bogged down wanting to communicate it all. I know I would be better off limiting the amount of information I attempt to use to convey the message or support a claim, that, by the time I'm able to access the necessary information. The perspective that launched a specific inquiry or A-ha moment seems to shift or diminish just enough to be cast aside.

3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.

a & b) I did but the longer I kept this synthesis alive, the more material grew and the harder it became to label, categorize, and catalog the number of entries I created, sources and documents I reviewed and analyzed, and sites I bookmarked. Just accessing the appropriate item from my workspace involved an element of time that deflected my energy from a more significant synthesis-related task. It’s hard to explain, but my greatest difficulty came in the way of labeling sections and subsections, chapters, appendices, files, folders, articles, and anything else that warranted effective executive function skills.

4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.

a & b) No question. One of the ironies of ADD is as much as I tried to commit myself to a day in and day out practice that could be duplicated, I always seem to be trying to figure out an entirely new approach next day instead of repeating what I tried just the day before.

5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.

a) Emotion has been a part of this journey from the start and continues to be today. In fact it's difficult to separate emotion from passion especially when I have such a heavy reliance on the power I gain from passion. However, I do take satisfaction in my willingness to take risks into new territory despite the discomfort it creates in me. I know that these risks are necessary in the grand scheme of things.

6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.

a & b) I have been fortunate to be part of the CCT community in such a way that I’ve been able to witness its evolution just as my evolution through a significant life transition has been supported by my relationship to the CCT community and the relationships that have helped me to take stock in the things that work for me. I’ve been fortunate to be a part of several waves of CCTers, many of whom, I’ve developed valuable relationships with. As much as I regret my tendency to withdraw, I will always value the support and sense of belonging I received as a member of a very unique blend of people and genuine spirit. I can only hope that I was able to give as much as I received. Hopefully, I will be able to give back in ways that I may not have been able to while in the midst of my CCT journey. After all, hindsight has a way of bringing clarity and perspective when and where needed.

7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.

b) It’s not that I thought they didn’t see things the same way I did. It’s more a product of my inability to articulate the message of what I wanted to say and the internal and the ensuing bouts of frustration that would torment me from one instant to the next. The more I pressed to stream- line my message, to make it more accurate and concise, the more it ballooned into broader more fragmented dimensions that made it more difficult for me to understand the reasons why it was taking on the form it was. This internal dynamic added to my frustrations, compounding my angst over an obsession over my lack of inability to articulate and simultaneously see forward progress toward completion. The more I ruminated, the more blocked I became. The irony is that I have this odd suspicion that as soon as this phase of the journey has concluded, the actual writing and articulating of all that was locked in a cognitive abyss will release and flow with fluidity and ease… wouldn’t that be rich?
At certain points I got away from the strategies and techniques that worked so well at earlier stages of development. I, in no way intend to turn this into a justification for not being able to unhinge myself from debilitating patterns of thought, and I wish that I had shifted paradigms long ago, however, I am inclined to believe that the lessons I have and will continue to gain from this experience would not have come to bare had I shifted anything having to do with my vision for this project. The ultimate lesson is that I had to go through this painstaking process in order to release myself from the haze cast by fear and doubt that I have allowed to persist in my life in the all-consuming way that it has.

8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).

a) Without question, I have found great strength in this necessary exercise regardless of how frustrating and arduous the act of having to look inward in order to think outward can be.

9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.

a) I feel it is important to be mindful and respectful of the standards as they serve as guideposts for the way we present and represent our most personal thoughts. However, the reality that this is a CCT inspired inquiry empowers me to explore beyond to where I can access the substance that drives me to put what’s important to me into context. I know when I achieve that balance I will have achieved my goals.

10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.

CCT is in everyway about transition and transformation and neither can exist independently of one another nor can either be abandoned in the face of life’s offerings. CCT has in everyway garnered in me this value in keeping with the journey, staying with and trusting the process, and knowing that the sum of one’s actions will eventually reveal the essence inherent in the journey. If it’s about something that matters to the individual, then the road one travels must matter too; otherwise, the value in the journey is likely to be missed despite it being a journey nonetheless.