Beck Hing Lee

August 31, 2006

I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."

A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).

In choosing what I wanted to do for my project I considered the ramifications of my subject area and who my audience would be. Many times, the match between my subject topic and my intended audience did not occur and I had to realistically modify things until such a practical match was found.


B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.

My research pushed me to learn from what others have done and written and made me discover works that I never came across. I also connected my ideas to those of others which made me see the connection. However, sometimes, trying to find information from others could be frustrating if they did not actually echo what you are trying to convey or if there was no supporting works that you could use to your project.


C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.

Envisioning the actual topic and the direction of my work was very tough as it was extremely difficult at times to frame what I really wanted to convey due to constraints of various types. For example, there might have been something I really wanted to delve into but I could not really devote too much to it just because it is out of focus of my topic. There has to be focus nevertheless but even if I tried to modify my topic of choice, new constraints would spring up. But even though it was a difficult path in my case, I thought it was worthwhile and a rich learning experience


D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.

The work I did allowed me to see different perspectives which opened me to my own propositions as well as counter-propositions and then propositions to counter those counter propositions. There were continuous flowering of thoughts and ideas in the process of identifying every detail and weeding out every inadequate argument. Yet, the intensity of such process could be overwhelming.

E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.

In many ways, there was useful planning and things did to a certain extent go according to plan. However, many things developed and fell into their own places naturally and beyond my control. There were certain set objectives and deadlines but they had to be modified along the way to go with the “flow” of the development process which was good yet could be unnerving.


F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.

I got to hear first hand from certain people and that proved to be really useful to my work. The information I obtained is not what I could typically find from just books or online material. At the same time, there were still limitations that suppressed certain expectations of mine.


G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.

In my presentation, I felt that I did express my opinion clearly and get my message across. I received some positive feedback from others and one good sign was that my presentation fit into my given time slot quite neatly without much time left or over the limit. It was not easy but having the points considered beforehand and being realistic about how much I could say helped a great deal.

I think it was challenging when it came to trying to put my thoughts into the words that would really convey to my audience what I really meant. I believe the audience in large part understood my thoughts and ideas but at times, I felt that the essence of what I was trying to express was missed. I think there were many reasons for this and in some way, I could have changed my approach in expressing my views. In any case, progress has been made and to a great extent, the message I wanted to send did get across.



H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.

Many reframing of my writing had to be done in order to achieve this. I believe that it has been successful based on some of the feedback I received. Yet, the task was not easy when different approaches appeal to different people which my intended audience may comprise of.


I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.

The group discussion for the synthesis allowed conversations to generate great new insights as well as created a sense of a learning community which was very valuable for my growth. It was at times a struggle to push the discussion forward but most of the time the synergy and enthusiasm were very much present.


J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.

I have in the course of my extensive research gone through many struggles, overcome many barriers and reached many breakthroughs and through them gained understanding and realization that had enormous impact on the way I think and carry myself in my other circumstances of life.

II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS

1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.

I tried to incorporate all that I have learned in CCT into my daily affairs. It works especially when I internalize the things that I have learned. Yet, it takes time and patience to apply successfully what you learn in your lives and see results. It is also difficult to convince others that something may be valuable and worthwhile to undertake when results are not immediate but take time.

2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.

Every course became a learning experience whether there was friction and struggles or not. The struggles offered a different type of learning experience and however difficult it might have been, I was able to take difficulties fro previous courses to propel me forward at a later time.


3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.

Pacing has been an issue not just in CCT but in my other parts of life. Yet, there is a maturing process that I am still undergoing and I am sure CCT has been very helpful in catalyzing. It takes personal determination and effort but I see positive change in my self in this respect.

4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.

It is a challenge trying to use new approaches in my everyday affairs. Yet, after overcoming the hesitation, new and amazing results do happen which is very encouraging. For example, I used a particular different approach in my leadership performance and it provided some surprising results. But trying new things is not easy; it requires overcoming certain inertia.


5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.

As I have said, there were barriers to overcome and breakthroughs to reach but they were all fruitful in the end. Turning what appears as a flaw into strength and setbacks into new opportunities became part and parcel of my learning process and it takes internal emotional adjustment to do that. Again, that’s not easy but a it’s great thing to achieve.


6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.

I have found my peers to be truly great. There was so much community-building involved in that we all grew together and matured in our respective work together and it all happened by this process of building horizontal relationships. There was inertia just like in other areas, but the results were fabulous.


7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.

There was procrastination that was in some way inevitable at times and that presented problems along the way but corrections later on got things moving. So, I would say that there were setbacks but corrective action was effective.


8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).

When others give sincere and truthful comments and I change because I truly acknowledge that some change is necessary and then I make the change, not necessarily in exact accordance to what others have suggested, that is not bowing down; rather that is the way mutual exchange and learning should be. Of course this does not always happen in that people may not give truthful comments or you may not agree to the comments or that you are only changing just to suit others’ comments and that deviates from the purpose which is effectively defeated if any party does not do his or her part in the right spirit.


9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.

I have my own personal sense of achievement. Getting a good grade is not everything and it may not measure most accurately what you have gained and learned. Sometimes the scope of your thinking is not reflected by grades which usually are based on criteria set by others and not yourself. So, I have had my own way of taking stock of my progress which may not always be easy when the pressure to get good grades exists.


10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.

Everything in life is going through an evolutionary process and I am sure CCT is too. What really counts is the fact that, I could look back and say, “I have learned that from CCT”; and indeed there are many of such statements I can make about my experience in CCT. There are many things that are not final in what I learned in CCT in that they are not cut and dry rules that cannot be changed; rather they are ideas and concepts that are ever-changing in different situations and environments. But that presents an ambiguity to a lot of people in that the question remains, “what is CCT all about?” So, for me, being able to see the uniqueness of CCT and grasp the fact that CCT is actually about everything and anything, I feel I have indeed learned something here.