SelfAssessPalmucci
Alison Palmucci
May 2012
I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."
A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).
a.) Over the course of many CCT classes, I have slowly realized that the person I want to affect is myself, concerning my own artistic development and process of self-confrontation. During my synthesis coursework, I learned that other artists are also interested in exploring how they identify themselves as artists and their roles in society.
b.) I want to work further on building constituencies. My idea for an art exhibit for art teachers came to life (during Action Research) once I established a constituency. Now that I understand the power of building a constituency, I know that I can continue to create positive changes for myself and others with the support and guidance of constituents, as opposed to just thinking, quietly and alone, in my little bubble.
B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.
a.) My synthesis project shows that I am aware of what others have done before me in terms of thinking about artistic identity, and I gained shared some insights in to the thinking of local artists working currently. Through research I did in Cognitive Psychology, Philosophy, Creative Thinking, and Action Research, I learned how much I LOVE hearing or reading about the way other artists think and work. Although it may not be obvious in my synthesis work, one thing I have achieved is what I believe will be a life-long interest in learning about artists' thinking. In terms of my synthesis, I was able to gain insights into other artists' thinking, and practices, which helped me understand myself better.
b.) I struggled with managing my big ideas, and want to work further on one. Since Carol Smith's Cognitive Psychology course, I have been interested in capturing the voices of artists talking about their lives, their work, the ways they think and practice. I hoped to incorporate voice recordings with some type of images into my synthesis, but as usual I had too many ideas for the amount of time available. I hope to continue talking with artist's of all ages and backgrounds, in order to compile some sort of audio archive. There is something about hearing words spoken by the actual person; it is so much more interesting than reading words on a page. Hearing the voice of the artist imbues emotion, humor, and thoughtfulness into otherwise flat words.
C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.
a.) My synthesis shows that I moved towards focusing on artistic identity while investigating the topic of artistic development. My view of artistic development in general became more clear as I read the work others had done on the topic of developing an artistic identity. This was an I portent direction for my written synthesis.
b.) The conclusion to my written paper could have been stronger. I could have written more specifically about how I have come to understand my own identity as an artist, and how I will continue to define myself as an artist and develop my own artistic identity.
D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.
a.) Learning about this in the Process of Research and Engagement was one of those times I learned something completely new. The process encouraged me to really examine my own thinking and to address the weaker arguments I may have been attempting. During Synthesis, when revisiting the interviews I completed with artists, I was able to recognize areas of my own thinking that were weak or incomplete. The process of examining the thinking of other artists pushed me to revise some of my own thinking.
b.) I often jump quickly from one idea to the next, or sometimes I get excited about an idea and run with it without looking back. Using this process of identifying counter propositions, and revising my own thinking, is a nice way to slow down a bit. This is one piece of the CCT toolkit that I could use more in my work as an artist and a teacher, but I will have to make a new sticky-note for the bulletin board to remind me to use it.
E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.
a.) Realistic deadlines are my nemesis. During the past semester while working on my synthesis I did have specific goals outlined with what I thought were realistic deadlines, but struggled to meet the deadlines and to meet the expectations I had set for myself. One thing that I have done well is sequencing my work. During this semester there were many tasks I needed to complete in order to move forward in the development of my synthesis, and I was able to sequence those tasks properly to keep myself moving forward.
b.) I continue to struggle with meeting deadlines, and I have to be honest with myself and others that this is a serious symptom of my attention deficit disorder. Time management is very difficult for me and meeting deadlines is one of the many challenges I face everyday. I know that when I set deadlines or timelines for myself, they are less effective than those set by others. As mentioned above, I have improved (in life in general not just in CCT) in my ability to sequence tasks and set priorities. But I am not sure that I will ever be able to really adhere to meeting deadlines well. This is a biological battle with my frontal lobe. I work very hard and use a variety of techniques to win this battle but it is a constant struggle.
One goal that I set for myself during the Reflective Practice Course was to continually work on new artwork, so that when art exhibit opportunities came along I wouldn't have to try and meet their deadlines- I would already have work finished and ready to go. This has been very successful, and I feel that in terms of my work as an artist participating in public exhibits, I will find some success in meeting deadlines.
F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.
a.) I was able to gain unique perspectives through reading artist's diary entries and interviewing living artists.
b.) I would like to spend more time reading. I so thoroughly enjoy reading about other artists, particularly autobiographical information or primary source material like diary entries or artists' statements, but I usually only complete this type of work for classes or assignments. Moving forward, I need to feed this interest by reading more consistently.
G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.
a.) This may be a weak spot for me in my CCT work. I consistently feel as though the progression of my arguments are not as clear as they could be. One course in which I was able to do this well was Foundations of Philosophical Thinking. In that course, we really focused on arguments- understanding a philosophical argument from start to finish, and responding with our own arguments. The professor's feedback was always helpful and encouraged me to reconsider my arguments and the inflexibility of my thinking at times.
b.) Looking back, it would have been helpful for me to recognize how important the Philosophy course was in developing my ability to make a clear and complete argument. Moving forward, recalling the success I had in Philosophy may help me to maintain an awareness of my difficulty with presenting clear and complete arguments. One way this may benefit me in the future will be in writing grants requesting funding for visual art endeavors.
H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.
a.) I feel that my written synthesis grabs the reader's attention, orients them, ?and moves them along, but I am not sure that I properly led the reader to appreciate my position. The conclusion to my written synthesis could have been stronger. I do feel that my written synthesis does move the reader along and provides an understanding of how I moved along during my own process.
b.) In future written work, I could focus on GOSP from beginning to end. I have noticed this is also a struggle in my teaching. I can grab my students' attention, orient them, and move them along through any series of steps; however, I often consider the cleanup at the end of class the "conclusion" but seldom close a class session with a proper finale in which we debrief what we have learned, or achieved, or understood, etc. Although GOSP relates to writing, I can't help but consider a similar process in relation to my teaching.
I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.
a.) Through my synthesis work, I have come to understand my role as an artist as a role I play in society; before this semester I considered my role as an artist in terms of my own life, and as part of my role as an art teacher. I have always considered artists as important to society as a whole, but never thought of myself that way. Now I am very aware that public participation is important for artists. Through the work I completed in the Action Research course( designing an art exhibit opportunity for art teachers), I built a new avenue of public participation that also impacts my career and my work in the classroom.
b.) I am still struggling with fears related to rejection and discomfort. My participation in public art exhibits has increased but I continue to catch myself avoiding shows and "forgetting" deadlines, and upon some reflection and self-confrontation I am aware that my fears are blocking my progress.
J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.
a.) Developing a series of paintings to exhibit as a solo show, as part of my synthesis project, was a way of demonstrating that I have been able to establish a regular practice. Since Peter Taylor's Action Research course in the fall of 2010, I have made an effort to dedicate regular time to making my own artwork. I focused on the development of this practice through the Creative Thinking course and the Reflective Practice Course, and made it a focus of my synthesis as well. Making time and saving energy for my own artwork has become a practice. Some of the specific practices that have been working well include setting aside time each week to paint or work on other art projects, and regularly utilizing my sketchbook to make notes, drawings, outlines, etc. for ideas and future works of art. Part of the reason it was important for me to create a series of paintings and exhibit them was to demonstrate how, after many CCT courses, I was actually putting things into action. I wasn't just talking or writing about my struggles as an artist, or how to deal with 'roadblocks' and fears; I did all that work so that I could accomplish something, and start a new (and better) practice.
b.) I need to change the way I handle my fear and anxiety. I sometimes allow fear or anxiety to stop me in my tracks, and this certainly came up during my synthesis presentation and the opening reception for the exhibit. What needs changing is my own perception of myself as an artist. I think one way to change this is to spend more time talking with my artist-friends and allow myself to lean on them a bit in times of self-doubt. I realize now that during the last few weeks of the semester, I did not work at the pottery studio at all, which is where I spend hours each week with other artists. So, during the time that I could have used the support of other artists, I was staying away from them! Maintaining connections with a community of artists has been helpful to me over the past two years, and I need to recognize how crucial this connection will be to my development as an artist.
II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS
1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.
a.) It's challenging to try and respond to this with only one example. I have used so many things from CCT course in my teaching and actions. One course that impacted my teaching was my first CCT course, The Gifted and Talented Student. During that course I learned that teaching G/T students is a type of special education. I realize how little my school district responds to the needs of G/T students. The district I work in, like most in Massachusetts, is very focused on the needs of lower-ability students. This is in part due to The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001. Education has become very focused on bringing the lower ability students up to par. In my own teaching, I now try to differentiate instruction and expectations for students who seem to have exceptional abilities, skills, or interests. I also make an effort to inform classroom teachers and special educators who work with my art students about the above-average abilities I see. Often, other teachers have no idea about their students' artistic talents or interests. I hope that this small effort on my part will make a difference in the education of at least a few of my students. If I had not taken the Gifted and Talented Student course, I would have no awareness about the importance of addressing those kids' needs.
b.) Almost all of my private art students are very skilled young artists with creative blocks. I have one student with crippling anxiety, another with dyslexia, and another with other special needs. Until working with me, these students' artistic talents were not celebrated as much as they could have been. It has been eye-opening for me to see the impact my work has had on them and their families. I know that there are ways I can make an impact on children outside of my work in public education. I plan to work further on exploring the ways I can make changes in art education through my private instruction.
2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.
a.) When I struggle with completing a task, I often consider the tools I was introduced to in CTT. I definitely learned to utilize the support of peers, which I certainly never have in the past. I have always been very independent, and kept my struggles to myself. Through CCT, I have learned how useful it is to have a system of peer support. One example of this is in my work as an art educator. In the past few years, I have found a great support in parents. More and more, I invite parents to volunteer in my art class, and through that I have gained friends, supporters, and new colleagues. Parents have become allies who I can rely on for much more than help with bulletin boards.
b.) Another way I could gain more peer support would be to increase connections with art educators or artists outside of my normal perimeters. Last summer, during the art educator art exhibit I designed, I met other art teachers who share my values. Other local art teachers feel a tension between maintaining a practice as an artist and working as an art educator. There is a whole population of peers who could become a great source of support, but I need to put forth the effort to connect with them and build relationships.
3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.
a.) This semester, while working on my synthesis project, I was able to organize my time and prioritize tasks better than I have in the past. It took many semesters for me to improve in this area, but it happened. My greatest success was in organizing my time.
b.) I continue to struggle with organization, and although this is partly due to the symptoms of attention deficit disorder that effect me, I can certainly work harder at managing. Over the years I have learned from counselors, teachers, and children, many tricks and techniques to help me. CCT has helped me to see that different things work for different people, and I never felt like something was "wrong" with me because of my disabilities; other students certainly struggled with similar things. CCT introduced me to more tools I could use. My issue is that I need to put forth the effort to use the tools and techniques needed for improved organization.
4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.
a.) One of the best parts of the CCT program is how different each professor's teaching style is. I found that in each course I was able to find something useful in the way the professor managed the class and exposed students to tools and techniques. There are many tools that I don't use personally, but I pass them on to others as potentially useful. As an elementary art teacher, I often use some of the tools and techniques I was exposed to during the Critical Thinking course with Jeremy in part as well as Foundations of Philosophical Thought with Arthur Milman.
b.) One thing I would like to work further on is documenting the ways I incorporate critical thinking skills into my visual art lesson plans and teaching tools. Having a solid understanding of how visual art can build critical thinking skills for children will benefit my students, but it will benefit me and my career to have those things documented, as a way of 'proving' my knowledge to principals, parents, or potential employers.
5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.
a.) Creating a series of artwork as part of my synthesis project enabled me to face a very difficult, personal subject and deal with that subject head-on through the creation of the artwork. Creating the work was not uncomfortable, but showing the work in a public setting caused a lot of discomfort. From the start of the synthesis process, I knew I was using this semester as an opportunity to sort of practice for the real world. Creating this work and sharing it within the context of a CCT course, allowed me the luxury of working with a supportive group of peers and with the guidance of an advisor. When I leave the CCT program, I will be creating and sharing personal works of art without the support system of CCT behind me.
b.) Blocking out distractions was near impossible this semester. I have improved at asking for what I need, but seldom receive it. I did find ways to avoid distractions, for example I found quite places to work where I was physically removed from many distractors. But the pressure of having to meet multiple obligations and respond to others' needs was overwhelming. I have learned that I am truly successful when I can focus on one thing ate time, and I am not good at juggling multiple priorities. Moving forward, I need to find more ways of meeting my own needs despite the fact that others are not or cannot support me. I am very pleased with the amount of work I was able to accomplish while dealing with so many distractions.
6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.
a.) During the synthesis course I developed good working relationships with the three people in my small group. I was able to ask for advice and support from them, but really feel that my strength within the group was as supporter and advice-giver. I know that I was able to provide each member of my small group with helpful feedback and co structure criticism because I saw each of them use my feedback as their work progressed and in the final presentations.
b.) Moving forward, I hope to use what I have learned throughout CCT regarding asking for feedback. If I can be comfortable asking others, particularly other artists, for feedback I am certain it will support my continued growth as a practicing artist. And I need to be aware of my potential for providing constructive feedback to others. As a member of a community of artists, I will be an active participant by both giving and receiving feedback.
7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.
a.) I met with my advisor four times this semester to talk about my synthesis project; however the bulk of our meetings were taken up by discussions about my artwork, my process, or my concerns around time constraints and managing the workload. I feel that I took the lead in asking for what I needed help with from my advisor, and received helpful feedback that assisted in my prioritization.
b.) In retrospect, I wish that I had finished more writing earlier in the semester, so that I could have had more opportunities for feedback from, or dialogue with, my advisor and/or reader. Completing my artwork and preparing for the exhibit was my priority, but I think that this semester would have been more successful, if I had done the work over 2 semesters! If I had completed the artwork and exhibit during one semester, I would have had more time to assess feedback and reflect on my process, which would have helped me in my written work during a second semester. I think I did too much over the course o fine semester, which made it difficult for me to properly utilize resources like peers and advisors or mentors. Hindsight is twenty- twenty, of course.
8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).
a.)My written synthesis paper certainly benefitted from the feedback of my advisor and of my peers, one peer in particular gave me very helpful feedback. I went through two rounds of very thoughtful revisions based on feedback from others.
b.) After officially turning in my paper, I have had time to contemplate some of my writing and already would like to revise a bit more based on feedback from my presentation and ideas that have suffered revision in my mind. In retrospect I would like to have given myself more time to thoughtfully revise my work multiple times. Leaving more time and space for thoughtful revision is something that would also benefit my creative process as an artists and as a teacher.
9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.
a.) One thing I have done well is translating expectations of the professor, or requirements of the course, into what works for me. This has helped in many CCT courses but particularly in the synthesis course. One example of this is, in Synthesis the expectation was that we complete 15 minutes or so of daily writing, 5-7 days each week. I did some writing, but spent my time each day and week working in my sketchbook. I was focused on my synthesis project as a whole, but more weight was on my artwork than on the written product, so that is where the bulk of my time was spent. I suppose I could have just lied and said I was doing the daily writing in order to meet the requirement for the course, but how would that have served me? By being honest about my own process I hope that it may have provided some insights as to how the structure of the course would be appropriate for different types of work and activities, not just for writing. The structure of the course worked well for me, but he specific activities within that structure were what I changed.
b.) I hadn't realized until now that I have also been negotiating the formal standards set for me at work, and this has only happened since I have been in CCT. I can't explain exactly how being a CCT student has given me more confidence in challenging formal expectations when I know they do not work for me. But I need to continue to evaluate what is asked of me at work, and carefully interpret what I can do to meet the standards and make it beneficial for me. I used to get so frustrated at work when I felt my time was being wasted; now, try and meet whatever requirements are laid out for me in my own ways. So far, my efforts have not been met with any negative repercussions, and I feel less resentful about the way my time is spent at work. I have too maintain this type of practice in order to stay positive about my job.
10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.
a.) The "work-in-progress" emphasis of the CCT program has been difficult for me to accept. Early in the program, I felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable having my unfinished work seen by professors and peers. Now that I am leaving the program, I am very grateful that works-in-progress were emphasized. During the Action Research course, two work-in-progress presentations were required. The process of creating my work-in-progress presentations was crucial for me to think about my own thinking and the direction of my work. The feedback I received from peers and the professor was more than useful; it helped me to make decisions about the direction of my work and scrutinize my own thinking.
b.) Now, I can see how valuing a work-in-progess will help me in artistic pursuits. At the pottery studio, I witness potters asking for feedback all the time on works-in-progress. I see artists utilize feedback and make decisions about the directions of their work. As I have been more involved in art shows, I have spoken with other painters about how their work shifted at some point during the art-making progress. As an artist concerned with the process of creating, it is natural to be concerned with works-in-progress. Now that I am much more comfortable with sharing my work in unfinished states, this will be an immense help in my practice as a visual artist. I need to work further on developing relationships with other artists that mirror the types of relationships I built with my CCT peers. I am very grateful to CCT for developing this in me. As a practicing visual artist, sharing works-in-progress with others and gaining feedback will benefit me for a lifetime.
I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."
A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).
B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.
C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.
D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.
E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.
F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.
G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.
H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.
I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.
J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.
II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS
1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.
2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.
3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.
4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.
5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.
6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.
7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.
8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).
9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.
10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.