Tara Tetzlaff

May 18, 2009

I. "MY SYNTHESIS PRODUCT SHOWS THAT..."

A. I can convey who I want to influence/affect concerning what (Subject, Audience, Purpose).

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
Although I struggled with understanding my audience and purpose for my synthesis through most of the process, by the end I had developed a very strong concept of what I wanted to achieve for myself through the piece and what I hoped others could take away from it: “By becoming familiar with different theories of teaching and learning, educators can not only gain insight into their own existing practices, but also may find useful alternatives and new ideas that can enhance their teaching…. I would hope that others can learn from the concepts on which these examples are founded and apply those ideas to their own situations.”

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
When I started taking my project in the direction of exploring theories of teaching and learning, I really could not image what purpose that could really serve other than to inform my own practice; I couldn’t see who my audience might be (outside of those required to read it) because as far as I was concerned I was my audience. It wasn’t until I was pretty deep into the process, more comfortable with and more confident in my understanding of the theories I was learning about, that I began to see what other people could learn or take away from my paper. While that unclarity was at times a little frustrating because I didn’t know where I was going with this major paper, I think it was necessary for me to go through the process and gain more information because then I was able to make an informed and confident decision about how I hoped others could experience my work.



B. I know what others have done before, either in the form of writing or action, that informs and connects with my project, and I know what others are doing now.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
I read a great deal about teaching theory and studies that relate to the practice of teaching. Reading the formal literature gave me a foundation of information on which to build my own ideas, and reading the studies on how different teaching techniques are actually use in practice and teacher perceptions about teaching helped me appreciate that what ideas look like on paper can be very different than what they look like when used by real people.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
I should have done more interviews with teachers I know and instructors I work with to find out what principles guide their instruction, how they determine the effectiveness of their teaching techniques, and how open they are to alternatives. I especially should have done more formal interviews with the instructors I work with at CTWorkshop to assess if they see the same principles of constructivist learning and explicit teaching present in our programs that I do. Even though I did not include the interviews I did do in my paper, finding out more about the philosophies of some of my co-workers did give me food for thought and lead me to think more about different aspects of learning in our programs and curriculum design.



C. I have teased out my vision, so as to expand my view of issues associated with the project, expose possible new directions, clarify direction/scope within the larger set of issues, and decide the most important direction.

When I started this project, all I knew was that I wanted to learn more about different ways to approach teaching so that I could improve as an instructor in my work at CTWorkshop. Since the information I was reading about and even the type of teaching I was doing was all new to me, I really couldn’t clarify what my vision was because I didn’t feel I had enough information. While I was reading more about these different theories I focused on, I was also working more in leading workshops at work, so I was not only able to think more just about the concepts, but also think more about how those concepts actually worked or didn’t work in the types of programs I was running. That time and experience really helped me “tease out” what I thought and had to say about these different ways of learning/teaching.


D. I have identified the premises and propositions that my project depends on, and can state counter-propositions. I have taken stock of the thinking and research I need to do to counter those counter-propositions or to revise my own propositions.

I was very aware of the need to address counter-positions in this project; CCT is by nature more constructivist, and I was worried some people would be bias against my assertion that elements of explicit teaching can be useful. I was also intimated because some CCT facility members are experts on constructivist learning. I had to make sure I was informed enough about both theories so that I could address criticisms that could be had for either, and I think I handled that well in my paper. I also made sure to stress that the examples and plans described in my paper were specific to my work at CTWorkshop, and that I was not saying everyone should approach instruction the way I do, but simply think more about their own methods. I think emphasizing this point in my paper might make it easier for others who may not agree with my specific ideas to at least be more open to the overall concept of thinking more about the reasons behind methods of instruction and being open to informed alternatives.

E. I have clear objectives with respect to product, both written and practice, and process, including personal development as a reflective practitioner. I have arranged my work in a sequence (with realistic deadlines) to realize these objectives.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
I did not write each chapter in the order it would appear in the final document, but skipped around and developed each section separately, then went back and tied it all together. This broke the overall process of writing the entire synthesis less overwhelming because I was working from sub goals, and I could work on different sections at different sections at different intervals helped keep from getting too stuck on the writing for any one part because I could always skip to working on some other section if I got stuck.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
Once I wrote a section or chapter, it could be difficult to make changes to that piece because it was easy to think of that part being “done”. I didn’t go through and read everything I had written all together very often, and that didn’t give me as much incubation time to mull over my thinking about the introduction and “brining it all together” sections, because once I “finished” a chapter on a theory my thinking just moved on to the next theory instead of keeping the integration of the theories fresh in my thinking.



F. I have gained direct information, models, and experience not readily available from other sources.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
I used my personal experience at work for the examples used in my paper, and that helped me not only understand the material better but also understand the material in relation to my job. I also talk a lot more with the other instructors about their approaches to instruction so that I am learning from their experience and perspectives, and through these discussions I’m also building interpersonal connection with the people I work with.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
see B. b.



G. I have clarified the overall progression or argument underlying my research and the written reports.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
Trying to describe my project to outside parties, such as my Exeter partner or my family, forced me to keep thinking about the main purpose of my synthesis, even though I didn’t actually figure out that purpose until the end of the process. Writing the chapters in the order I did also allowed me to not really clarify my objectives until the end for two reasons: 1. by the time I finished writing each chapter on the 3 theories I wrote about, I knew a lot more about them, what I thought about them, and how I though they could be useful; 2. once those 3 chapters were basically written, I had to write about the main purpose because I had already written about everything else.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
Since the whole context of my paper is my job at CTWorkshop, and since my paper addresses some of the areas that need improvement in CTWorkshop instruction, I really need to bring up those areas of improvement during our upcoming training sessions. While CTW instructors do have a lot of flexibility to teach in their own way and while the nature of icamp especially is very loose and creative, there are some instructional standards that everyone should generally follow to improve the camp experience and learning therein.



H. My writing and other products Grab the attention of the readers/audience, Orient them, move them along in Steps, so they appreciate the Position I've led them to.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
Peer feedback on my report draft indicates that my paper is well organized and easy to follow. I also think that because I explicitly emphasize that my paper is based on personal experience and that I would like others to learn from those experiences in whatever way is best for them, readers might be a little more open to hearing about ideas they otherwise might not be too receptive to.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
Although my paper is about my work at CTW and icamp, I didn’t want it to read like a long endorsement of CTW. Especially since I write most of the Boston branch’s marketing, I didn’t want that marketing voice to come through in my synthesis paper. I don’t think that voice did come through in my paper, especially since I did address aspects of icamp instruction that could be improved.



I. I have facilitated new avenues of classroom, workplace, and public participation.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
Discussing my topic with co-workers has made them more aware of their own teaching methods and has helped bring the discussion of CTW instruction to the forefront of more training sessions. Also, working on this paper has made me better able to explain CTW programs both to interested parties, such as parents and location partners, and made me better able to write about our programs in marketing materials, including the company blog that I write for.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
The purpose of my paper was to inform my own practice, not to design a plan for others to follow or adapt. While others might be encouraged to think about their own teaching because of my experience, the responsibility is on them to construct their own meaning from my paper. Since my project can provide inspiration but not step-by-step instructions, it might not directly impact other people’s work in qualitative ways.



J. To feed into my future learning and other work, I have taken stock of what has been working well and what needs changing.

a) something that reflects what you have achieved well related to this goal:
As described in the conclusion of my paper, I let my project unfold without feeling like I had to know exactly where I was going with it. Instead of worrying about the outcome, I let myself learn from the process of learning and working, and as a result internalized the ideas I developed.

b) something you have struggled with/ need more help on/ want to work further on:
I procrastinated on writing the conclusion for one chapter, and then I had to force myself to finish that section. I should have had the final draft completely written a week or two earlier so that I would have had more time to fine tune the details of the document. Really, I just got tired of writing the paper, but I need to more disciplined.

II. DEVELOPING AS A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER, INCLUDING TAKING INITIATIVE IN AND THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS

1. I have integrated knowledge and perspectives from CCT and other courses into my own inquiry and engagement in social and/or educational change.

CCT challenged my conception of what it means to be a student and forced me to take more responsibility for my own learning, as is emphasized in constructivist learning theory. The collaborative learning and discussions we have in classes as well as in outside support meetings (such as study groups) have helped me appreciate the levels of learning that occur in interpersonal exchanges, as emphasized by social learning theory. My Action Research project about what it means for me to have fulfilling work and how to obtain it caused me to realize and accept certain aspects of my personality and values, and lead me to my job at Children’s Technology Workshop, which in turn helped me realize my potential as a facilitator of learning and made me more conscious of how I learn from others. In philosophy class we talked about the idea of children as philosophers, and although I didn’t take that idea very seriously at the time, I began to appreciate it once I started working with kids and realized that they are intellectually capable of much more than I had given them credit for. My summer class in critical thinking was also extremely influential in helping me understand how I as an instructor can help foster critical thinking in developing minds.

2. I have also integrated into my own inquiry and engagement the processes, experiences, and struggles of previous courses.

My first semester in CCT I took PBL, and I was incredibility stressed by the process of having to navigate my way through a messy problem. Nina gave us questions and feedback, but hardly ever gave us any direct instruction or direction, and I didn’t understand my role as a student in that learning environment. Almost two years later, I tackled my synthesis project in a very PBL fashion; I had a general idea of what I wanted to learn about, but I didn’t know what was significant about the information or what I wanted to do with it until almost the very end. This process worked out very well for me, because by the time I needed to figure out those objects so I could finish the paper, I knew enough and felt strong enough in what I knew that I was ready to articulate my objective.


3. I have developed efficient ways to organize my time, research materials, computer access, bibliographies, etc.

Having two semesters to work on my synthesis was wonderful because it gave me time to really think about and work with some of my ideas before I had to have the final paper due, and I was able to take my time with the reading and digest the information. I was really good about pacing my writing so that I never had to worry about meeting deadlines at the last minute. It wasn’t until the very end, maybe in the last two weeks, that I really lost steam with the writing and had a hard time keeping myself focused to finish that one last chapter. I’ve learned that the environment that I’m working in has a big impact on my work process; it’s very hard for me to work at home because there are too many distractions between my cats, roommates, and I’ve noticed that at home I use food as a way to avoid working. When I come to campus I am much more productive because there are less distractions and I can stay focused longer.

4. I have experimented with new tools and experiences, even if not every one became part of my toolkit as a learner, teacher/facilitator of others, and reflective practitioner.

My synthesis process was an experiment for me because it was so different than how I have approached major projects in the past. The PBL-like approach I used worked out very well, and I’m glad I didn’t try to make myself define my paper too quickly, because I wouldn’t have learned as much from the process.


5. I have paid attention to the emotional dimensions of undertaking my own project but have found ways to clear away distractions from other sources (present & past) and not get blocked, turning apparent obstacles into opportunities to move into unfamiliar or uncomfortable territory.

Working on my Action Research project last spring was very emotional for me because the project forced me to acknowledge some aspects of personality and thinking that I didn’t want to recognize, and also forced me to accept that uncertainly and “chaos” are unavoidable and even necessary for change and growth. It was a very difficult semester emotionally, but I learned to channel that emotional stress through creative projects, writing, and in very stressful times, talking to my supporters. With that emotional energy vented, I could then go back to my project and think about how to move forward without being distracted by the intensity of emotional associations. Creative projects continue to be powerful coping and mental management tools for me.


6. I have developed peer and other horizontal relationships. I have sought support and advice from peers, and have given support and advice to them when asked for.

This semester I tried to support other students through one-on-one tutoring for academic support. While I think I have been able to help these students understand assignments and expectations, improve the overall structure and organization of their work, and supported them emotionally, I think I have been too flexible in adapting to the demands of one student, letting her change meeting times and skip connections at times when she said she just needed to stay home and work. At the time, I was trying to accommodate and respect her busy schedule and just be there for her in what ways she thought she needed, but in hindsight I should have enforced a more structured arrangement, because that would have helped her learn more about time-management and planning her workload, and made her take more responsibility for our interactions. That said, I think she did make a lot of progress during the time we’ve worked together.


7. I have taken the lead, not dragged my feet, in dialogue with my advisor and other readers. I didn't wait for the them to tell me how to solve an expository problem, what must be read and covered in a literature review, or what was meant by some comment I didn't understand. I didn't put off giving my writing to my advisor and other readers or avoid talking to them because I thought that they didn't see things the same way as I do.

Starting last semester, I’ve been less afraid to speak up when I’ve been confused, in need of assistance, in disagreement, or even in support of other people’s ideas. My Action Research and philosophy projects really empowered me to be more confident in myself and not be so overly preoccupied about “looking stupid”. And I’ve learned that asking questions and voicing opinions now saves complications and confusion later. (Watching the interactions between my directors at work reinforces this lesson; they ask each other questions, rephrase the other’s statements, play devil’s advocate, all in a very respectful manner; the products of their conversations are better as a result.) So I haven’t been afraid to ask questions when I don’t understand something, like the narrative outline, or give constructive criticism on other people’s work.


8. I have revised seriously, which involved responding to the comments of others. I came to see this not as bowing down to the views of others, but taking them in and working them into my own reflective inquiry until I could convey more powerfully to others what I'm about (which may have changed as a result of the reflective inquiry).

When I gave two classmates my first introduction to my paper, they expressed a lot of confusion about the direction my paper was going in and what my purpose was. While I didn’t want to hear that because it meant I had more work ahead of me to rewrite the intro, that feedback really forced me to confront the fact that I hadn’t adequately clarified my objectives in my own mind, and that I really needed to focus on what I wanted people to take away from my project. Going back and rewriting that section after getting that feedback really helped me think through and pin point what I wanted my paper to be.


9. I have inquired and negotiated about formal standards, but gone on to develop and internalize my own criteria for doing work—criteria other than jumping through hoops set by the professor so I get a good grade.

In terms of doing research and finding information, I know I am familiar with a subject when I can explain it to someone who is unfamiliar with the subject. When I can respond to and reasonably satisfy a person’s questions about that subject, then I can be confident that I know the material pretty well. Writing is my most effective method for thinking; in order to write well and communicate your ideas, you have to be very precise in your words and organization, and before you can do that on the page you have to do that in your thoughts. I know I have a strong piece of writing when the words on the page accurately convey the ideas in my head. I cannot know how clearly those ideas are communicated to others without feedback from readers; however, by understanding the material well myself, I am prepared to engage others in talking about these topics and respond to their questions.




10. I have approached the CCT synthesis course and the CCT program as works-in-progress, which means that, instead of harboring criticisms to submit after the fact, I have found opportunities to affirm what is working well and to suggest directions for further development.

I think that every class is a learning experience for both the students and the instructor: as students in the class ask questions, respond or fail to respond to activities, comments and lessons, the instructor learns what materials and strategies are more or less effective in different situations. Specifically, I think I have helped the course grow by asking and responding to questions in class, being a “guinea pig” for the narrative outline, supporting my fellow classmates and giving them feedback, and making my changes to this assessment form.