Theme2PresPlusDelta

Theme 2: Presentation Plus-Delta Responses

Find your name in the list below for plus-delta feedback to your presentation.

Alex

Plus:

Well developed definitions of what makes up a story
I appreciated that Alex left room for a story to change course as it's being written. That would allow the writer a little more flexibility within the story.
You showed how this work supports a new writer of stories, for someone just getting started. That is encouraging.
Keeping in mind that story might change - this helps one to explore further on new content as needed.
I liked your view on scaffolding the story as a way towards leading through the process of the story. That seemed an interesting way to connect the threads of story telling and scaffolding.

Delta:

I think Alex has an opportunity to create a compelling guide for new writers; I think knowing more about the story he himself will be writing would allow him (and us) to see how this guide works in action.
How can you make this yours? Can you think of a way to move away from just defining what makes a story to creating more unique guidelines, perhaps developing the steps to try and teach someone how to write a story?
You might consider how to extend this beyond what seems like a mostly passive delivery of information about story-writing to those wanting to try it. I wasn't sure what your work offers beyond what is already available to new writers through many existing books and guides and classes/workshops, so you might now consider further the creative aspect - how this fits into a person developing and learning creatively, beyond just the creation of a story.
I wonder how you could flesh out some of your definitions - are there other ways of defining story? Do all cultures have stories that follow similar structures? Does genre impact scaffolds? How does scaffold influence/impact plot?
Do you think people need scaffolds to get to the place of identifying ""the theme""? What would those look like?
Will your a story or story fragment function as an illustration of your thinking?

Andrea

Plus:

What I like about Andrea project is that the project is very reasonable because her idea of a children book with a funny or serious message about things that happen in life.
The idea of a series seems to hold a lot of potential for the many directions to take and themes to explore. I was curious if there is some kind of guiding principle that explains the "why do this?" for your product.

Delta:

You might try to find some sources that refer to the value of reading children's books for adults - are there any places in research that refer to an adult process of reading a children's book (meaning, a book not really meant for them) and putting genuine value on doing so? Otherwise, why does your book need to "look like" a children's book? Couldn't it just have humor without that? I wonder if you could find something by looking into satire, or perhaps, evaluations of pop culture such as the Simpsons (has much of the appearance of a "children"-oriented product, but a lot of the content is really for adults to understand.
What I think that should be developed in Andrea project is that Andrea should give more detail on how she is going to make her project. Meaning that give detail of your concepts

Andrew

Plus:

It's great that the letters are actual diagrams, it will help people remember what to do and how to do it.
By far the most unique and creative product idea so far. The idea of using each letter as its own way of determining your scaffolding method is something that holds a lot of promise, as each letter can represent an entirely different way for the story to be built up.
Very clever idea. It works well for all ages
i think the "other 25 letters" is a great idea. its a such a good way to help students imagine other possibilities.
The 25 other letters scaffolding project is fascinating and useful for writers (and thinkers) who want to explore various methods of storytelling. I think the concept behind this project is clever, clearly defined, and constructive.
It was very informative and insightful for you to include examples of stories for the letters chosen so far, so I would encourage you to keep going with this. It seems like a great way to learn by actually reading (or viewing) the examples that you mention and then see how the letter structure applies, as well as see if other letters also work well (and maybe this reveals something about a person's perspective since the way that someone discovers a structure might say something about what they perceive as significant events).
I like this idea of making Scaffolding out of the ABC is a very good idea ;). It would be something that I would use and continue to think about.
This is such an interesting idea - I like the rethinking of the original W structure. I think adding in further templates is useful/original.
Just an enjoyable overall presentation. I like the idea of reader/participant contribution, that it lends itself to our further explorations.
Why didn't I come up with this! It was a great idea, I think you really got something here that will help students for a long time. I like the idea of switching up the uppercase to lowercase.

Delta:

For A, something that fits well is a recent HBO documentary series called "The Defiant Ones" about Dr Dre and record producer Jim Iovine's separate roads in the music industry, and how they meet.
For the Full Circle method, what are some ways this method could be seen as both a good or a bad thing?
I think everything about your presentation was fully formed.
i was thinking also that this could be used as a way for students to take the same story and tell it all different ways depending on the letter they choose.
I think it is important for you to choose the typeface you will be using to create these templates, even if your readers/students will be able to determine for themselves the most appropriate font for their scaffolds. Some of the examples I thought of using your letter guides were 12 Monkeys and Momento for "O", Of Mice and Men for "K", Only Revolutions for "X". But I was also thinking Clockwork Orange might be more appropriate for "Q"... full circle with a twist "epilogue"--the final chapter that gets left out of US publications shows Alex reformed for good.
I wanted to know if there are any further categorizations of groups of letters within your scheme. For example, "structures that are helpful for very beginner writers", "structures that work particularly well for the genre of [n]". Or are all letters to be seen as having generally equal weight and are all appropriate across many circumstances or needs? I'm also wondering about the creative thinking potential for using the letters to guide readers into analyzing existing stories. What interesting things can come up from using a single story but having some readings (or students) "find the W", and others should "find the A", and so on?
Would you use this to teach students different types of scaffolding? Or have them pick a letter for the story they're reading and justify it?
I genuinely believe this could be considered as a book.
I think it would be best not to do all 25 other letters, maybe emphasis on a lesser number will make for a more interesting, well thought product.
What if you worked backwards from the forms of stories to create the meanings of each letter? Maybe you could try this if you get stuck eventually in terms of creating them. You might enjoy Leslie Marmon Silko's "Language and Literature from a Pueblo Indian Perspective" - it's a short essay on narrative structure.

Bill

Plus:

It offers students a different take on creative writing by changing from the traditional sequencing of a story
The sequence and clarity of the specifics of the story events, and the presentation to students seems quite clear, and the use of questions seem motivating for getting students to think about the story. The nature of the scene also seems very relevant to real issues experienced by students today.

Delta:

Add scaffolding that familiarizes students with short story writing and varied sequencing
I wanted to know more about the issue of facilitating the process - what exactly is the teacher's role, other than to say, present the activity as a set of written instructions/documents? If this is a high school English class, how does it fit in to the wider curriculum? Is this just a thinking activity? Or speaking? Or writing?

Casey

Plus:

The use of Heard helps gives credence to your methods.
The need for students to find their voice is incredibly important yet somewhat overlooked. I'm glad that you are finding a way to bring that out in students... use of a broad question is a great way to ensure students find their voice while scaffolding will support them and keep them focused...
Casey's objective of helping students find their authentic voices by directing their own lesson is a crucial one as it will give these students a chance to take control--something they are not often allowed to do in school
The way that you've brought the elements of the theme together through the focus on learner agency, where stories, scaffolding, learning can all take on multiple dimensions (learner as audience and learner as creator where others are audience).
The openness of the course sounds quite daunting, but very beneficial to the investment of students. Your willingness to roll with student's needs.

Delta:

Having the lesson and the process tied to learning and agency outside the classroom might be a useful guide for developing the activity further.
I'll be curious to see how your scaffolds are able to help students stay focused since broad questions can lead to too much freedom, aka the never ending question.
How do you think the specific methods of your interviews could shape your students?
The issue peeked out about the mutual scaffolding that is happening between roles of teacher and student; I'd like to know what this work now tells you about how the work of the teacher can (or should) scaffold the teacher as well as student - acknowledging that a teacher is a person-in-development with their own lives and needs and not simply a deliver-er of learning to others.
What does a quality product look like? Are expectations set or specified?

Jeremy

Plus:

Delta:

Julia

Plus:

Including your own educational experience and interests ensures that you will enjoy teaching this and the students will see this. Your diagram will make a great scaffolding.
It was helpful to see how you developed the idea of the KWHL as the main scaffolding tool here and are making it easier for the students to break down the steps of exploring the pieces of information needed to understand and develop stories.
It's good that you're getting kids to connect their life experiences and history to literature. Hopefully that would spark them to read more and relate to more reading.
Use your experiences using scaffolding to help others
A very interesting and helpful way to utilize scaffolding.
Tying an interesting book into a historic topic works well
i think using personal interests as a starting point is a good way to engage others. also questions such as "what would you do?" are great ways to encourage creative thinking practice.
This seems like a highly effective way to connect history, mythology, literature, and self reflection. This unit would likely be very engaging for students.
I liked that you were connecting your personal experience with positive scaffolds (like KWL) to the lesson plan you wanted to develop. I think that's a helpful frame for developing your lesson.
I LOVE the prompt: "What would you do if you encounter an Egyptian god or goddess?," and how the lesson encompasses fiction, fact and mythology.
Your presentation really "wowed me" I was very impressed with your knowledge of certain stories and how you can blend them with the courses subjects. Very detailed!

Delta:

you could present other aspects of Egyptian life as well through scaffolding- mummifying, art, pyramids draw-further student interest
Some of your slides had a lot of text, so I wished you would have explained them a little more, especially your principles. Why are these important to you?
Is there enough factual substance in the book to relate it to actual history? And since it's a series, can you get away with using only one book?
Maybe, there are other scaffolding methods that you can explore for different type of audience.
The question "How would you respond to meeting a god or goddess" seems like a prime moment to ask the follow-up question "what does this reveal about your thinking?" Of course, this might be better rephrased for the grade level, but it would invite students to examine their thought processes and reactions and get them more personally involved in the assignment.
i am a little less clear on what you are hoping the students will get out of the scaffolding.
Try to develop some metacognitive questioning towards the end of the lesson.
What are some pros and cons of the KWL chart?
Do you think there are other scaffolds you could learn about that could be added in? KWL and Venn Diagrams are useful but they aren't the most nuanced of possible scaffolds for all students (especially as someone gets older). I wonder if researching new kinds of scaffolds - especially for creative thinking - might really support you to come up with new ideas for how to teach the ideas in your lesson plan more creatively. Although this book is primarily about analytical writing, it might be an interesting place to get started: click here. Another book you might find has some helpful starting places (and useful bibliographies) is called The Skillful Teacher
I think some extra visuals to your project may help to enhance your vision and purpose.
I'd like to know what type of products or artifacts might result from your student's learning.

Kyle

Plus:

Very creative exercises that help to make your points.
Your prompts are engaging and will work well with kids.
The guided activity was interesting and has a lot of potential to spark conversation between kids and adults.
Narrative as disruption is an exciting idea. I'm now thinking of this as manifesting as tool or process that can scaffold learning, perhaps at least, in terms of having to learn from the experience of whatever has been disrupted.
I loved being challenged in my own thinking and that you are developing this to lead other adults to be more creative in their thinking. You have some strong activities and analysis and I'm sure your colleagues will benefit as a result.

Delta:

I'm still wondering about what makes the things that are universally compelling to kinds, so compelling to them? I wonder if we can form additional theories about this, as well as observe (from popular or other culture) what seems to get young people to respond. Why does the idea of a robot seem to have this appeal across language, background, etc.?
There is an opportunity to discuss problem solving, limitations, frustration, and perspective with the shape activity. I would like to see that come forward a bit more. I think it could open up some meaningful dialogue for patients, parents or siblings of patients, and hospital staff.
How would you encourage students to follow the directions of the exercises if they get bored/upset? Is the bodily functions practice truly necessary?
Physical exercises, such as playing with toys or legos, could be a great exercise as well. It would be a unique blend of creative scaffolding and physical scaffolding.
I loved what you were thinking about and wonder about -- how do you get adults to feel that process is more important than product? when do children feel that their creativity deepen? does it matter how often the children interact with these types of activities?

Laura

Plus:

I like how you made the Scaffolding in your presentation.
I adore the idea of constraints out and freedoms in. I think that's what needs to be stressed. ??
The idea of using scaffolding to help mold dance is something I never considered. It could definitely work.
It tied in nicely with your first theme
Your goals and objectives are clear. It's exciting to see how you can teach others about something you're so passionate about...
Your key principles really hit the mark with what makes stories authentic
i really like the idea body movement as a form of storytelling.
I appreciated that you mentioned feeling somewhat scattered, and the presentation seemed to help to bring out several important aspects that I hope now you can see in front of you a little better and then continue to organize. The question about what to do with the artifacts of the creative process is really interesting and makes us think about how we are talking about more than the final creative product when discussing what an artist/dancer/writer does.
I really appreciated Laura's consideration of different types of movement from practical and technical to expressive and artistic and her perspective that all bodies capable of movement can use movement to make meaning.
I was interested in the idea of dancing as being "making movement with intention." I was also super interested in the tension you discussed about creativity and revelation. That felt like a unique entrance point into your work.
Rather than commenting, I'll just paraphrase two quotes, which I appreciated: "I want them to be able to think about the things that they might do, not what they can do." & "Can we be our own audience, or, do we need an audience?"
Use dance as a tool to communicate within people and ourselves.
I love your passion for dance. I also loved all the detailed work in the presentation. Your pictures really gave us a good understanding on the participants would be in your project.

Delta:

Overall your project still confusing
Are there specific types of dance that you believe would be more suited for scaffolding than others?
I'm curious how constraints could be considered positive or motivating tools for movement. How can we take what we learn about our bodies and movement and apply it to our daily behaviors? How does movement shape, or scaffold, our place in the world?
I hoped that you'd go a little further with the connection from dance/movement to the learning. What happens within this area to help us understand what is needed to move someone beyond expressing, and beyond communicating, to learning? It seems like learning can have something to do with the experience of the audience (of the creative mover, for example), in addition to fulfilling the need of the mover to express themselves. What is learned, or why is that important for the participant?
I'm curious who decides what's revelatory to the world or only to you as a person, thus defining the C vs c.
If you haven't seen this before, you might be interested in this contest.
Is there a way to introduce non-dancing scaffolding into your project? Perhaps for those of us who will never, ever be dancers, there are movements such as breathing, walking, jogging, etc. that we explore?
maybe make it a little more succinct. It was a lot of new information for a novice
A lot of the work you described via the process in the dance process was deeply relational work. I wonder about how you see the importance of relationships in developing something creative (thinking about constraints out/freedoms in). For example, how does the cycle shift if the folks in the dance workshop know each other well? If they are strangers? Does the scaffold change? Also, how does facilitation shape the process? Is the facilitator a participant? Does the facilitator necessarily shape the creative product as a result?
How would environment inform/influence the workshop or actions of participants? Is there a way to create an environment that doesn't function as a form of constraint?
as someone who has limited knowledge of dance, some of the language used made it hard to fully understand all you were trying to do. maybe more laymen language in your presentation/proposal for new-to-dance people
Really love this idea and I think you could take this to great places. I'm curious how you'll develop dialogue aimed at children... children's lit seems to walk a fine line between authentic, real writing and playful, simple writing.
what kind of people could participate in this workshop? How participants could develop this knowledge further the workshop and applied or add to their daily life?
I think your resolution/conclusion could be wrapped up better. I think it would help you to establish why you are doing this project and what it will do for society as a whole.

Lauren

Plus:

Interesting points on what can influence individual scaffoldings. Your character is not only cute, but is also good for teaching children basic morals!
I'm intrigued by your comment about stories not always taking expected forms - this helps me to think about what our expectations are when encountering stories, and how we might look at situations when we don't actually recognize the story potential at first.
I loved some of your definitions and framings for your project. I was particularly struck by "language itself tells a story" and wondered where else that might go.
Illustrations... would like to see more. Also, the rhythm explored through language: cats provide a wealth of opportunities for noisemaking, mimicking, acting out of story.

Delta:

One of your principles referred to language itself telling a story. This seems important, but it's not clear what someone would do with this understanding or if we should define more context here.
What are some morals you already have in mind for Her Majesty Thundercat?
Would you create a guide for young people like for adults? What might these look like?
Are there opportunities to engage/interact with HMT during the story? (Do young people get to really directly engage with the scaffolds?)
How directly will scaffolding be placed/felt? Will kids have a sense of expectation or goal? What age group(s) do you have in mind?

Matt

Plus:

The use of the graph seems like a great example of a visual scaffold to not only give students a chance to see their timelines, but also then gives others a chance to look at it and pull out even more details and meaning as the students explain how they view their lives to others. I wondered about the outcomes that you see around the instruction of sharing one key event from the graph with others. What does this add to the process?

Delta:

I wonder if there are limitations to asking students to rate each experience as good or bad, and if it could be an additional scaffold to get each students to see any given event as involving both positive and negative aspects. It seems like the scaffolding for creativity and learning might mean actually reconsidering assumptions that they've made about why something is simply good or bad. (No doubt, it's probably very difficult to see certain negative events as having any positive side, but it might be a good creative challenge to ask students to try anyway).

Paula

Plus:

I like that your project helps people find their own voices. This is something toward teenagers, right? Guiding young people to find a creative voice is spectacular and could build toward community development and give kids something to do rather than get into trouble.
The one minute format is very interesting and has the potential to tell very good short stories.
I like how it all began with a one minute documentary.
Paula clearly has a direction, a workable plan, and a compelling product to help students understand and create 1-minute stories that bring attention to community and connectivity. I especially appreciated her point that others help us realize our own creative voices.
I always enjoy your passion for film. I think you have some very relative information with your references. Lastly, I would like to say the "Social Voice" is a great way to blend your experiences in film, your career, and society as a whole.
I appreciated that your phase 1 workshop addressed how people can find/use their creative voice. This seems most fundamental because it is about a person and their chance to express themselves, so it is helpful to think about this before moving on to the story and production issues.
I appreciated and very interested on her idea of One Minute Stories. Also how would you do it in a few words to make it work.
bringing in all the different voices and perspectives is important and needed.
I loved the idea of storytelling as a vehicle for creating empathy which leads to better communication within the community.
I appreciate the unique collaborative element of community working together toward shared goals using emerging creative voices. In addition to creating videos, this would strengthen community ties, which is a compelling creation in itself.

Delta:

Expand on how the product would look. I say this would it be in video or other kind of format.
I would of liked to hear some of your own ideas. Some type of workshop, project, or list of principles of ideas of your own that can benefit you and the class.
I'm curious about what steps will be used to help students find their own creative voices? How will this be different from selecting content?
In your project, I wanted to know what you think the difference is between teaching and scaffolding. Is it possible to do scaffolding for someone else without also thinking in terms of a teacher's role?
Is here a cost associated with the three month program? Is it a professional development course?
This could be offered as a Saturday course, rather than Saturday and Sunday, as kids are reluctant to give up their whole weekend for months at a time. It could also be offered as an elective in high schools and take up an entire semester.
What kind of stories do you believe can be effectively told in this format?
Does it matter which community this happens in? Does it matter if the facilitator is of the community? Does it matter who participates and what space it is facilitated in? How does power factor into storytelling being used as a vehicle for community change? The context (to me) feels important to the procedure in terms of how successful this project is at getting across its aims.
i am not sure if 1 minute is enough time to really get ideas beyond the surface level across. also where will this 1 minute project lead to. whats next after telling these stories.
I'd love to see an example of a video, though I understand this potentially stifles creativity of participants, that they might mimic format.

Russell

Plus:

I like that you're focusing on creative diversity. Including diversity into a suspense/thriller movie is something Hollywood is really struggling with.
I appreciated how you came up with your own definitions for terms, as these seem good for building upon and using to bring together your ideas to an integrated point.
What I think that work well in Russell project is that he used a lot of defining words which is related to the the theme 2. What I really like about this presentation is that Russell uses a lot of old movie and television in the science fiction genre.

Delta:

I'm not clear about the connection between the scaffolding and the idea of story in your work. I understand that movies involve stories, and you seem to provide some ideas that help people to stay creative, so these could be kinds of scaffolds. But what are you doing to actually think about how the stories themselves inspire creativity and genuine learning? Try to explain this more clearly, since it just seems that there is an assumption that certain kinds of movies automatically lead to creativity. Maybe try to lay out the steps of what actually connects the viewing of a film to the difference in learning. You have so many ideas here that it is challenging to see where the focus needs to be.
Try to find a way to focus your energy on a particular thing. Maybe focus on writing a diversity plan for one of the movies you've mentioned.
What I think that Russell should do is narrow some of his idea down and try to make some of your ideas much simpler to understand.

Tri

Plus:

I like how it connects students to important life decision like the ethics of how the could be making money
The idea that scaffolding is a form of freedom for students is very interesting and empowering; this helps to show students how they are still being supported but are expected to take charge of their own learning process.

Delta:

Show ethical dilemmas career choices other than advertisement present
I wondered if you extend the idea a little more about students adding good to the world through this work. Is there something here about not only getting students to learn the create parts of ad creation, but also learning how to examine the complexity and controversies around what is actually "good" for the world? How do you want to scaffold them to actually learn about these complexities and have the kinds of discussions or thinking needed to get very clear for themselves about why what they are doing is actually good (not just about a product, but in terms of social value to the world) and how to challenge their own assumptions about what they've believed previously?